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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26572567">my body goes in and out of where it's told</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skornheim/pseuds/Skornheim'>Skornheim</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel, Thor (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad Sex, Canon Compliant, Consent Issues, F/M, Loss of Virginity, Wedding Night, marital rape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:08:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,675</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26572567</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skornheim/pseuds/Skornheim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You are cruel, my lord.” Her voice sounded embarrassingly small and girlish to her own ears.</p><p>“Not for nothing am I known as the god of evil,” he said matter-of-factly.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki/Sigyn (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>my body goes in and out of where it's told</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wanted to add a disclaimer, since I understand that there is a Loki/Sigyn fandom, primarily based on MCU Loki and a fanon interpretation of Sigyn, and I didn't want anyone to be disappointed if that's what you're looking for. This fic is based exclusively on the comics, particularly the story "Thy Neighbor's Wife" from Thor Annual #14</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The crowd receded from Sigyn as she descended the steps of the dais. Her wedding guests seemed ashamed to meet her eyes; everyone’s attention was on Loki. Asgardians were far more comfortable feeling rage than pity. Only Thor dared approach them, bearing threats in lieu of congratulations for the newlyweds.</p><p>“Step-brother,” he growled. “This time you have gone too far. Father’s punishment is too lenient; I shall have to make up the difference with my fists.”</p><p>“Stay your hand, Thor,” Loki jeered. “You would be doing Sigyn a disservice if you pummeled me now. I doubt she would appreciate it if I were incapacitated on our wedding night.”</p><p>Thor flushed bright red with fury, as if it had only now occurred to him that it wasn’t merely Loki’s loathsome company to which Sigyn would be forced to submit. Sensing that Loki would gleefully continue to provoke Thor, Sigyn intervened on her new husband’s behalf.</p><p>“I thank you for your concern, brother,” she told Thor gently. Hearing her address him as such softened something in Thor’s face, and he looked at her with helpless tenderness. “But there has been enough pain this day. Violence cannot change what is already done. He may not be the husband I wanted, but I do not wish him injury.”</p><p>“I defer to you, Lady Sigyn, though your magnanimity is more than my brother deserves. Perhaps there is some merit to my royal father’s hope that marriage to a woman such as you will finally shame Loki into self-improvement, that he might be worthy of you.</p><p>“Your wife has saved you a great deal of pain,” he said, turning back to Loki. “I know you haven’t the good sense to be appropriately grateful to her, but know this, brother: I will be eager to avenge any further transgressions against Lady Sigyn. If you need this warning to influence your future treatment of her, so be it.”</p><p>Sigyn thanked her brother-in-law with a gentle hand on his shoulder, though she knew she would never call upon his aid. Once she followed Loki into exile, she would be alone.</p><p>-</p><p>It was several days’ hard ride to Loki’s keep, so he opted to teleport them directly into his entrance hall. This Sigyn recognized as impatience on his part to consummate the marriage, rather than concern for her comfort.</p><p>The room in which they materialized was large and tastefully decorated but rather dreary, devoid of life or comfort. Sigyn opened her arms and the tiny kitten that had been a wedding present from her sister leapt to the floor and scampered off into the darkness. She hoped he met nothing worse than rats.</p><p>“Does my home please you, wife?” Loki asked. “If not, do not despair. This accommodation be merely temporary. Soon enough you shall be queen of Asgard, and I’ll commission the finest architects in the Nine Realms to build a house to your specifications, right atop the rubble of Odin’s hall.”</p><p>Being incorporated into Loki’s wicked plans for Asgard, as if they were united in one aim as a husband and wife were meant to be, made the reality of her situation sink in more than anything else had, and her commitment almost faltered. Perhaps it was not too late to beg Odin for an annulment. Loki must have a stable somewhere on the grounds. She could commandeer a horse and brave the treacherous desert, which surely was less dangerous than the fate which awaited her in Loki’s bedchamber.</p><p>But she remembered Odin’s words, and her resolve strengthened again. Did not being included in Loki’s considerations for the future grant her a kind of power over their course? She was in a rather unique position. She could use her influence on Loki for the good of Asgard, fulfilling her duty to her home by fulfilling her marriage duties. For were not men often softened by marriage? Did not men listen to the counsel of their wives, sometimes giving it more weight than the advice of their fathers? Perhaps if his wife were satisfied with what he could already provide, it would temper Loki’s evil ambitions.</p><p>“It is a handsome home, my lord,” she conceded, declining to comment on Loki’s vision of their future. Her mission required much more subtlety and patience. She wouldn’t discourage his lifelong lust for power so simply.</p><p>No one came to greet them or take Sigyn’s trunk, and they encountered no one as they toured the house, the trunk floating behind them at waist height. Had the servants retired for the evening? Or did they creep around the house in fear of their master, favoring secret passageways so they could avoid the possibility of encountering him? Or perhaps he had no servants. Perhaps no one dared to enter the employ of the god of evil, and his desire to find a wife was partially motivated by a need to find someone to cook and clean for him.</p><p>“Are the servants already abed?”</p><p>“I have no servants presently, save a stablehand with his own quarters on the grounds. I inherited this house from my late mentor, Eldred. Half the servants resigned after… his tragic death--” Sigyn understood without any need for further elaboration that the house had come into his possession under similar circumstances as she herself had “--and most of the stragglers left a month ago. A disagreement about their wages.”</p><p>Sigyn mentally added <em> cheap </em> to the growing tally she was keeping of her husband’s negative attributes.</p><p>“I’ve been taking my meals at an inn in Alfheimr. There's a small village just beyond the border. Tomorrow we can ride into town and hire more servants, as many as you need. I meant it when I said you would want for nothing as my wife.”</p><p>Sigyn had yet to learn how little weight Loki’s promises carried, even the ones he <em> meant</em>.</p><p>He showed her the kitchen, the parlor, the library, and the doors to his laboratory (with a stern warning never to enter them), but she realized as soon as they reached his sprawling treasury that this had been the real reason for the tour.</p><p>She felt both offense that he thought her the sort of woman to be impressed by such things--if anything, the idea of managing such ample finances intimidated her; she had been born into wealth, but this was a prince’s fortune, likely augmented with stolen plunder--and pity for him if this was his default strategy to win a woman’s affection. She allowed him to collar her with a heavy necklace of rubies, but he was mistaken if he believed all the precious stones in the Nine Realms were enough to purchase her love.</p><p>“Did Theoric ever give you anything so fine as this?” Loki asked her, smirking with self-satisfaction.</p><p>Sigyn’s pity wilted and was replaced by defiance.</p><p>“He gave me something far better than you can ever offer, something your wicked heart has not the capacity to feel.”</p><p>Loki’s smile became a scowl. “And yet his love for you did nothing to save him from the mountain trolls which I hired with but a small portion of my wealth. Your beloved Theoric is dead, and my fortune remains.”</p><p>She deflated. It was nothing she had not already suspected, but hearing it spoken so casually shocked her. “You are cruel, my lord.” Her voice sounded embarrassingly small and girlish to her own ears.</p><p>“Not for nothing am I known as the god of evil,” he said matter-of-factly. “Now come, woman, the marriage bed awaits us.”</p><p>Sigyn had expected on her wedding night to be escorted back to her conjugal bed by a throng of joyful, drunken friends and family, but the only thing that trailed behind them as he dragged her through the dark house was an oppressive sense of dread, growing heavier and heavier as they approached the door of his bedchamber.</p><p>She hugged herself while he lit a fire in the grate, nothing to do but watch him. Her new husband was not handsome, and the long shadows cast by the firelight made the harsh angles of his face seem even sharper, the glint of his eyes even crueler. Under her apprehensive gaze he removed his cloak, helmet, and hood, revealing that the tips of his ears curved into wicked points. Heart thudding, Sigyn averted her eyes from the reminder that her new husband was not even truly a man, no matter how adeptly he camouflaged himself.</p><p>Her helmet was lifted from her brow and tossed aside carelessly, clattering to the stone floor. Loki had approached her so silently she hadn’t noticed until he was close enough to crush her body against his own.</p><p>Next he pressed his lips to hers. She had kissed him before, when she thought he was Theoric, and the suppressed hunger that had then provoked her suspicion was unleashed in full now that he was not hiding in the guise of her prim fiance. It wasn’t entirely repulsive, feeling desirable. He kissed her ravenously, and she surrendered to what was surely only the beginning of her consumption.</p><p>His sorcerous hands were softer than Theoric’s had been, but they were rough as he tugged her clothes from her body, tracing the contours they revealed, every bit as demanding as his mouth. She had never been touched like this before, and--little though she liked the situation--it wasn’t exclusively fear that made her tremble.</p><p>After Loki finished stripping her of everything but her necklace, he flung her onto his bed. She sprawled as he towered over her, unbuckling his belt. For one terrible moment she feared his prick would be as bestial as his ears, but he peeled off his leggings to reveal an unremarkable erection.</p><p>“Don’t look so frightened,” Loki said, his fingertips sliding up her legs as he climbed between them. “I’m not going to hurt you.”</p><p>It surprised her that he cared enough to try and reassure her, and she appreciated it even if it wasn’t very convincing.</p><p>Still, her body was too tense to do anything other than resist its penetration. He swallowed her gasp of pain and began rocking his hips without giving her even a moment’s pause to adjust to the intrusion. Thinking of Theoric while making love to his murderer seemed like a crass abuse of his memory, so she kept her mind carefully blank and focused on the physical sensations: the burning friction of each inadequately lubricated thrust; the discomfort of the head of his cock assaulting her cervix; the bruising force with which he eagerly mashed her breasts. His breathing had gone ragged and a cramp had formed in her neck before she began to feel something distantly resembling pleasure.</p><p>Her pleasure climbed and then stalled just short of the precipice. Unsure of what she needed or how to ask for it without offending him, she wrapped her legs around his waist, but though it urged him to speed up, it did not prompt him to change his technique.</p><p>“Husband, perhaps you could--”</p><p>But it was too late; he groaned and then stilled, his head resting in the crook of her neck. She hesitantly stroked his sweaty hair until he extricated himself from her body and flopped down beside her.</p><p>She laid next to her husband in the semidarkness, cataloguing the various emptinesses he had left in his wake. She had been so consumed with fears he would prove a sadist, and she would spend her wedding night in pain and humiliation, but the reality had been entirely underwhelming. She knew she should feel relieved, but instead she mainly felt disappointed. Even insulted. She had performed her wifely duty, but he had failed to satisfy his obligation to her, an obligation that was entirely his own fault.</p><p>He was already drowsing, but her timid kiss roused him, and when she worked up the nerve to squeeze his cock in her hand, it reawakened for her as well.</p><p>It was better the second time, as if her body had accepted its fate and found the room to accommodate him, and, no longer as heavily hindered by pain, she managed to wrest a weak orgasm from his graceless hammering before he finished a second time.</p><p>He was asleep almost instantly.</p><p>She hesitated. He hadn’t dismissed her, but he hadn’t invited her to stay, either. What did he expect of her? Would he be angry to wake up and discover her gone or to discover her still there? He hadn’t told her where she might find a bedroom of her own, and for the moment the prospect of exploring the dark hallway frightened her more than Loki’s embrace, so she fell into an uneasy sleep in the latter.</p><p>-</p><p>She woke up alone. There was an ache between her legs that was almost pleasant, was perhaps more enjoyable than the act of love had been. Judging by the amount of sunlight leaking through the gap in the curtains, it was far later than she usually rose, but with no attendant to wake her, she felt she could hardly be blamed.</p><p>Behind the curtain she discovered a large balcony. The view was rather bleak: the house perched atop a dizzying cliff overlooking a jagged, rocky desert. The forest that marked the border of Asgard and Alfheimr was a dark smear on the horizon; otherwise the landscape was entirely colorless.</p><p>She wrenched the curtain shut. The scenery wasn’t the worst thing about being married to an outlaw, but it filled her with a sudden despair, reminded her how far from her home she truly was, and she could no longer bear to look.</p><p>She ran a bath in the adjoining chamber and scrubbed her husband’s dried seed from her pubic hair with a wince. Dressing and braiding her hair took longer than normal because her hands kept gravitating to her damp belly.</p><p>She tried to imagine the sort of children she would bear Loki. Would they be anything like the ones he already had? Could she nurse such monsters at her breast? The idea that she might not be able to love her own children frightened her more than the thought of birthing monsters, so much so that she resolved to learn to love Loki, so that any of his traits their children might exhibit would not be an obstacle for her. </p><p>This was a daunting task, so she didn’t delay.</p><p>She retraced her steps from last night and visited the kitchen before seeking out her husband, hoping they could breakfast together before their errand.</p><p>The larder was sparsely populated. There was some cured meat and a block of cheese, but no milk or butter. The pantry yielded only a bag of moldy onions and a loaf of bread that was too stale to cut, much less to eat. For the second time, she began to pity Loki. So rich, so educated, yet unable to manage his household. Perhaps he desperately needed her, and she could truly help him--in more ways than convincing him that liege lord of Asgard was no career for a man who could not even command loyalty from his own servants.</p><p>She wasn’t expecting to encounter anyone except Loki in the house, so the statuesque woman draped in polar bear fur she met in the stairwell frightened her so much she nearly dropped her tray.</p><p>“Who--who are you?”</p><p>“Nedra, Queen of the Storm Giants,” the woman said.</p><p>“Pleased to meet you, Your Majesty,” Sigyn said, though it wasn’t strictly true. This wasn’t the sort of company she wished to keep, but she supposed such associations were unavoidable now. “I am Sigyn of Asgard.” It occurred to her that she could now introduce herself as <em> princess </em> of Asgard, if she so desired. “Are you here to see Loki?”</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>“Is he expecting you?”</p><p>“He will not refuse me,” Nedra said haughtily, and Sigyn understood that he was not. “I have a business proposition he will wish to hear.”</p><p>Sigyn didn’t need to know. She wanted to keep her hands as clean as possible. “I don’t know where my husband is, but we can search for him together.”</p><p>One of Nedra’s thin eyebrows rose. “You are Loki’s wife?”</p><p>“Aye.”</p><p>Nedra laughed darkly. “My condolences.”</p><p>“Please, what do you mean?” Sigyn was gripped with fear. If Nedra knew the circumstances of their marriage, her words would have made sense, but they had just met. Did she know something about Loki that would sabotage even a happy marriage, a secret so horrible that it would turn off even a wicked woman like the queen of giants? If there was such information, Sigyn wanted to know it.</p><p>“If you need to ask, you cannot have been married long.”</p><p>“We wed only last night.”</p><p>“You will soon discover how heartless Loki is. Now that you have given him your gifts, he will lose interest in you quickly. Nothing ever satisfies him for long. If a woman such as myself could not even hold his attention, what chance has a woman like you?”</p><p>“Perhaps it is because he wanted a woman like me that he tired of a woman like you.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Sigyn regretted them. It was nothing worse than what Nedra had said to her, but she didn’t <em> want </em> to sink to Nedra’s level. How could she hope to have any positive influence on Loki if the slightest pressure turned her into a viper? She would be remade by him, her weak personality warped by his influence, not the other way around.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” she said meekly.</p><p>“Maybe I misjudged you,” Nedra said. “Perhaps you and Loki deserve one another.”</p><p>They searched for Loki in stony, uncomfortable silence. </p><p>Nedra must have been mistaken. Loki had wanted her as his wife so badly he had killed to have her. He couldn’t already be finished with her. He would have simply ravished her that day on her front porch if that were the case--she didn’t believe he was too honorable to consider it an option.</p><p>(Perhaps she should have <em> let </em> him. At least Theoric would still be alive, even if he would have been disgusted with her for giving herself to Loki.)</p><p>They found Loki in the library, spread out on a couch with a forbidding looking tome in his lap.</p><p>“Nedra,” he said. “What are you doing here?” And then, almost like an afterthought, “Sigyn.”</p><p>“Good morning, husband,” Sigyn said, placing the breakfast tray on the low table in front of him, between stacks of books about dark magic.</p><p>“Cheese upsets my stomach,” is all he said after surveying Sigyn’s pitiful meal.</p><p>Nedra cackled. “Perhaps I can offer you something more to your tastes, Loki. I come to propose an alliance which will hopefully profit us both a great deal.”</p><p>“You have my attention.”</p><p>Nedra joined him on the couch, sitting close enough to him that when she angled her body towards his, their knees touched.</p><p>Sigyn hovered awkwardly on the other side of the table. “What about our plans for today, husband?”</p><p>“Tomorrow.” Loki assured her.</p><p>Nedra gave her a knowing look. <em> You see? </em></p><p>Yes, she did. She took that as her dismissal. She wasn’t going to beg to spend more time in Loki’s company.</p><p>She spilled out into the hallway. Why did the thought of rejection from one whose affections she had not wanted in the first place hurt her, rather than providing a sense of relief?</p><p>Her restless, aimless wandering eventually brought her to the courtyard. It, like the rest of Loki’s house--her house--was splendor spoiled by neglect. The beds of herbs with magical properties were carefully tended, but the rest of the garden had fallen into disarray. The pond was swarming with gnats. The rose bushes were wilting and the trees were weighed down with overripe fruit. She spent the afternoon weeding and pruning and composting, ruining her skirt and fingernails trying to bring order to the garden. </p><p>Near sunset she made her way back to the kitchen with an armful of vegetables.</p><p>She followed the smell of Nedra’s gardenia perfume to Loki’s study. Her husband was alone, bent over a heavily annotated map of Asgard. He was wearing only leggings and a light tunic, less than he had had on that morning.</p><p>Over the stew she had prepared for their dinner she tried to engage him in conversation.</p><p>“You are like a stranger to me, my lord. Ours was… a rather unconventional courtship, and there are so many things we still must learn about each other.</p><p>“I’m familiar with your… accomplishments,” she clarified, lest he interpret her desire to get to know him as an invitation to brag about his exploits, which she suspected he would be all too happy to do. “As a citizen of Asgard I know much about my prince, but--” none of it was good “--nothing about my husband.”</p><p>Despite her gentle guideline he spent the rest of the meal recounting the evil deeds he considered his greatest successes, each of them more horrifying than the last. He didn’t ask a single question of her nor give her enough room to interject with facts about herself when they were relevant.</p><p>After dinner, one appetite slaked, he took her to bed.</p><p>“Why are you so <em> quiet </em> when I fuck you,” he snapped after a few minutes atop her.</p><p>“Sorry,” she stammered, embarrassed by his language, his audacity--that he felt he had any right to criticize the way she made love, given his own dismal performance.</p><p>By the time he finally finished she was incredibly sore everywhere below the navel. He had left her unfulfilled yet again, but even if she hadn’t been so tender, she wouldn’t have bothered initiating a second round. The coldness she felt emanating from his side of the bed frightened her. Had their honeymoon truly waned so quickly?</p><p>She left bed to take a hot bath. He was already asleep when she returned. It took her hours to join him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Loki and Sigyn's marriage sort of fascinates me for a number of reasons, not least of all the discrepancy between Loki's behavior in the story about how their relationship began, where he goes to very great lengths to trick her into marrying him, and his resentment of her in every subsequent comic where she appears. I find these two extremes not particularly difficult to reconcile; he's like a child that begged his parents for a puppy but became disenchanted when he realized how much responsibility was involved in caring for it. Wanting something and then being unsatisfied with it is very in character for Loki, as is tiring quickly of women, if the trajectory of his relationship with Lorelei is any indication.</p><p>Sigyn is a bit harder, partly because she doesn't have much of a canon personality, but I tried to make her more than a cardboard cutout.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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